MY NEXT FILM: untitled for the moment

你可能玩过一个心理测验。[ shows the word 日]
如果叫你在“日”字加一画，你会怎么加？
[permutating at fast speed all the characters possible, stop at 由]
我选“由”。
是最善的人。
[permutates at fast speed again, stops at 甲]
他选“甲”。
是最狠的人。

当时我就应该知道，他会伤害我。[ animated jia spiting heart shape with skull in it towards you, poof ~ whole screen fades thru white to lift scene]


[walks out of lift, talking to friend, looks forward, pans to her view, the girl panicing and looking at her. FV She walks forward, spot something. POV him sneaking off. FV her walking towards her.FV her walking towards her, opens mouth. pause]
几个小时前，我看见他们在一起。
他回避我。

[plays]
“你跟他在一起？”
“er…er…还没有啦。”
“don’t worry. 不管我的事。”

[Pause] 这样走开很潇洒，很帅气。可是我的心中涌起了一股不满。这股不满，来自那瞬间的回忆道带。

[rewind]



就从这里开始吧。你一开始不接我的电话，不回我的简讯的时候。
一开始我气。[sms and call , crossed]
然后 我很气。[sms furiously, call furiously]
然后，我慌。[call furiously, panic]
于是，我等。[sit outside his room, people pass by, talk to people, stand up call, look downstairs, pacing up and down, sit down. fades to black.]

“oei. 起来了。”
POV open eyes see him. He frowns, opens the door, and walk in.
他说他需要时间考虑是否应该继续这段感情。
这段时间别找他。别联络他。当他有决定的时候，他会告诉我。

我慌。
我问他
“为什么？”x4 [diff poses]
他回
“没有什么为什么。”
“你先回去。”x3 [ diff poses]
Ms me out of room at the door, light from the door cuts off as he closes the door.

我哭。[ in bed]
我哭。[in front of laptop.]
我哭。[on bus]
我哭。[toilet cubicle]
我哭。[lecture]

［哭着说］one fillet o fish meal
＂ｕｐｓｉｚｅ？＂
No
ｍｅｍｂｅｒ？
Yes.　［ｔａｋｅｓ　ｏｕｔ　ｃａｒｄ，　ｔａｐ］
＂ｅｒ．．．　ａ　ｍｏｍｅｎｔ　ｍｄｍ．＂
＂ｍｄｍ，ｙｏｕｒ　ｍｅａｌ．　＄４．７０　ｐｌｅａｓｅ．＂
［ｈａｎｄｓｏｖｅｒ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｏｎｅｙ．ｗａｌｋｓ　ｏｆｆ　］

＂ｍｄｍｙｏｕｒ　ｃｈａｎｇｅ！　ｍｄｍ！＂
［ｗａｌｋｓｂａｃｋ．ｔａｋｅｓ　ｃｈａｎｇｅ．　ｗａｌｋｓ　ｏｆｆ］

就是这样。哪里都哭。做什么都哭。
没课的日子。我躲在房间哭。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。
去你哪儿找你，你不在，听说跟她出门了。
回房。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。
去你哪儿找你。你生气。把我赶出门。
回房。我躲在房间哭。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。ｓｍｓ你。
第二天早上起身，看手机，没有你的回复。
我躲回被单里。哭啊哭。就这样哭到傍晚，梳洗一下，去上课。
朋友问我　［shows kl］　“哇！为什么你的眼睛呢么肿？！”　［ｐａｕｓｅ］
我回　［ｍｅ］“我睡了整天。”　［ｓｍｉｌｅｓ　ｙａｗｎ］
［kl］“哇！你这只猪。”

猪也好。人也好。我不能让朋友知道我天天哭。如果妈妈，朋友们，全知道他这样对我，那岂不是给他判了死刑。应此，在这段时间内，对电话那头的妈妈来说，

“你伤风啊？”
“对咯。每天在ｅｄｉｔｉｎｇ　ｌａｂ．冷到要死。”

对朋友们来说，我是只伤风的

［ｋｌ］“猪！”


一个晚上，妈妈问我上风好了吗？我告诉她事实。我第一次让她听到我哭。[cry]

她叫我立刻回家。我叫了德士。[ cab drive off]
回家去。他知道。那晚，他第一次ＳＭＳ我。也是第一次打电话给我。说以后不会再赶我出门了。



第二天，我回去，见到他。才发现他还没决定要不要继续这段感情。

我那伤风的日子没了断。我不能这样过。

几天后，我比他给我答案，要分手还是继续。

我打电话给他。如果不接，就是要分手。
他没接。

几天后，发现他跟她在一起了。

想起那时我觉得他们之间比我们之间还亲近，对他说过：
“你不要跟她那么亲近。每晚跟她在楼下读书，我可以去吗？”

他说我不可理喻。生气地走了。

伤风的日子里我总是自责，为什么自己那么过分，让你压力大的要放弃这段感情。

但发现你们在一起的时候，我突然想起坤垒：
“你这只猪！”



我的伤风渐渐复原了。
因为天天都在ｅｄｉｔｉｎｇ　ｌａｂ里忙。又有一群好朋友吵吵闹闹的，把“伤风”的细菌占时吓跑。［friends in adm advertisement style］

就在这个时候，你又回来了。这个时候， 你又回来了。他在我家楼下待了两晚。
FV him,
“I realize you are the person I love. I can only love you! Please….Believe me la. She is nothing, I will tell her,. I can’t tell her now. I will tell her soon! I can only love you and I only loved you all along. She was just a mistake. I promise, I will treat you so many so many times better than before! Trust me please…come back to me. ” [CU cries]

他哭得好惨。

[ms him]
[ms me cry]
“It’s won’t work out.” ( it will, I will make it work.)
“You will get tired of it and give up.” ( no I won’t.)
“yes you will.” ( no I won’t)
“Yes you will.” ( no I won’t)
“Yes you will.” (no I won’t)
[suddenly hugs him]
[ms me hugging him, him crying in my arms]
(thank you… thank you…)


电话和简讯回来了。
但是很快，又不见了。

“ I love you. But我们是不可能的。我看着你我的愧疚感太强了。I know I hurt you again. Sorry lah. 我现在不可能去见你的。你哭再多也没有用。There’s nothing I can do. Sorry lor. I think I am not ready for relationship yet la.”

[rewinds]


[back to cathay]


“你跟他在一起？”
“er…er…还没有啦。”
“don’t worry. 不管我的事。”

[ walks away, stop, turns back]

“Maybe I should go say hi.”

[follow into the cd shop. Taps his shoulder. He turns around. Slap. Walk away.]


[Walking out. “好了。走吧。”　Discussion of where to go, I look on the floor. CU on eyes, tearing]

看到这里，就算我真的是坤垒口中的猪，也应该知道这个人不值得我为他掉眼泪。
［walks out of cathay building and towards PS］
我不是猪。
也不是一个笨女人。
我只是一个很用心，很执著于爱一个人的女人。


我快步走在路上。

冷风逆着我，刮得好大

无袖上衣。迷你裙。

暴力地颤抖着的身体。

飙着热泪的眼睛。

感觉身体的每一个细胞都激动地站了起来，准备要很勇敢。

我突然有一股冲动。

要成为一个很坚强的人。

要过得很好很好。

Did I ever tell you guys about the pek chek thing myseniors told me?

ELLEN
Kexin, ask you ah, do you have many guys wooing you?

K
AH?! why ?

ELLEN
cus me and shiqi was htinking, you shd haf a lot of guys wooing you.

K
why?!

ELLEN
cus normally ah~ the more imperfect~ the more the princely guys will go for. not say imperfect lah~ but~ aiyah~ ya lor~

K
what logic?! qi si wo le! lidat shoot me!

ELLEN
no lah~ aiyah~ if dun haf then u shd go korea~ sure got a lot de~ korean drama all lidat

K
hello~ then last third word is DRAMA






Thank you very much...=(
but its ok. i still love her. =)

触电

今天我被电到了一下！
ｈｅｈｅｈｅｈｅ！！！　

星期六会不会看到他？


突然有了　Ｊ　Ｃ　的感觉。
ｈａｈａｈａ！

RESEARCH ON TATTOOS

PAPA's BIRTHDAY

Friday was dad's lunar bday. mom dad kor and me went on a mini celebration.

I cannot describe how much I like the chinese fonts on the receipt!~ so got feel~ !!!

I took a photo of kor on the lorry back on the way back home.

Had to leave home the day after the celebration to work on my film. it was saturday~ so damn sian~

BUT!!!

You can always brighten up your day by being experimental and permutating your ntops and bottoms!!!

and so.....

i did . With:

1) My brothers unwanted berms

2) a $5 halter top I bought in Taiwan.

3) a $12.90 coat I bought from the ex-SOGO shopping mall at bugis. Forgot it's name now, BHG? something around this line.

and BOOM! YOU GET COCO CRUNCH!!!! =D

haha, Nel, maybe you are right, I AM getting a little crazy~ hahahah~

AND SO...

BOOM!!!! YOU GET THIS----------vvv

So anyway, my film was done. With some awkard noise here and there but I really couldn't give a damn cus public policy was like burning my ass already~ i only studied for it like less than half a day? but it should be fine~ =)

I got 10 invitation to give.
I wish nainai can be there to view it, I really wish.
i miss her so much.

So anyway~ i think i invited much more than 10, haha~ so i shall ask from my friends for extra invitation. If I am ot wrong, they have a lot of extras. So i will just keep inviting. haha.so that I will have the loudest claps. muahahaHAHAH!!!!

Actually the above was all from a prev entry which i forgot to post but instead, saved as draft. here coems today's entry!!!

...JAPAN STREET FASHION...

i was told that On New York street, no one gives a damn about what you wear. So you can just wear whatever you want wthout an concerns. but the thing is, NO ONE CARES. not "people don't mind and is accepting to all fashion". So it's not a nice street after all. BUT! In japan, people are so damn open to all sorts of fashion, and this is so damn cool!~


I SWEAR I am SOOOOO going to walk on the tokyo street one day. But before that, let's have a sneak preview of that street I yearn to lay my feet on. heeheeHEE~=)

The pale girl is really special i feel, among the rest, she is really plain but yet special and she deinately stands out. I really like way jap fashion and japanese can let go and just whack and I like all the personal and random stuffs like the handphone accessories, makes things so personalised and interesting!

After a failed relationship and a tonne of stress here and there, i really dun think I know this world anymore.

I mean, I used to have a lot of structured thougths and perceptions of a happylife, or rather, how this and that should be. But I think I should just throw them all away. Those are just fake stuffs which the TV tells me and my parents had been believing in or had been told to believe in.

I am just going to rely my innate senses to lead me to a happy life.

Eat whatever my taste buds tell me is tasty.

Look at what my eyes tell me is beautiful.

Listen to what my heart tell me to believe.

Wear what I feel like wearing.

Oh my oh my....

monday is my film deadline. and everything will be locked.

monday is my public policy exam.

monday will be my mini exam break.

monday i will be looking forward to my film screening on saturday.

my baby....




AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







so freaking scary!!!

I will be trembling while my film goes on the big screen man..... i think i will be staring at the audience instead. i better settle the sound later in lab.


I feel the butterflies man.....>x< !!!


i am so damn damn damn freaked!!!!!





























oh anyway~ i really like my bro's ibook man...~
small and the power adapter is like~ so light and portable~ i like the idea of bringing laptop all around~ i love it~

Wow~ can't believe that was my last post.
it has been almost 2weeks and I had really gone thru a lot.

He came to look for me and he wanted me back.


i'll update again.


my head is bursting.

tml's the 20% quiz



I hate my profs and i hate to face them tml.




How can life get so stressful.

I stil have 4days to study my public policy exam

I still have 3days to finish my film and poster.





I wish i never had her as my prof.






stress machine








I wanna sleep my day away please............






but i cant