Just now suddenly got a flash of scene pass thru my mind.
Nainai in the bed~ in pain, no, in agony.
Watty the maid, and my aunt is beside her. helpless.
She asks my aunt for medicine to relieve her pain.
My aunt asked the doctor.
She tells nainai, there is none.
Nainai ask again, give me medicine, I'm in pain.
My aunt went out and got her panadol pills.
Somehow, she got a little better and managed to fall asleep.
She woke up hours later and finished up the bowl of porridge mother cooked, half the bowl, appettite was quite good.
Then she sleeps again.
Brother was on the phone when the maid screamed.
She was breathless.


I keep getting that scene of her asking for medicine replayed on my mind as I shower.
I cried bitterly~ I don't remember crying out so bitterly since her death. But I wasn't morning over her death, I felt her pain at that moment. I don't like it at all. If I can choose to cut out any scenes in anyone's life, I'll cut that out. Don't tell me I haven't seen the worst. I don't care. This is my grandmother and I love her.

Then I Prayed hard to God.
I told him, if he exist and the whole story of bible is true, then the whole " whoever believes in me and jesus comes to heaven and the others go to hell" thing is real, Then please... please please free her~ don't get her to hell. She was such a great grandma. She treats everyone so nicely. This whole rule you set is unfair. It's not like everyone knows that you are god and she chose to not believe in you. This is unfair. It sucks.