I love my headphone~ it's growing to be part of me~

I want my dig cam back~ cus it's also very much part of me. love it to bits and pieces!~

I still like my hp pouch which is my purse~part of me now too.

Love the bag i bought from taiwan~ the hysterical glamour. still using it a lot.

I love my guitar~

I love my laptop!!!

I love the piece of jade I'm wearing which was initially a gift to nainai and then she passes it back to me. Now that she's gone~ it's like a connection between me and her. part of me~

I want to buy a pair of earrings which i will always wear. I wanna buy a gd nose stud which the diamonate will not fall out so that i wun hafta the nose stud over and over again. I wanna buy a gd mp3 player which functions without lag. i wanna buy a pair of shoes~ ladies shoes~ which i can wear out all the time~.

I wanna be a independant girl. I wanna kick all the inertia in me and spend every second of my life wisely. I wanna be more organised. I wanna work out more and shed all the fats i added since i enter uni. I wanna devote more time and attention to sch work. I wanna write more songs and limprove guitar skills, pick up drums well. I wanna be in full control of my life. I wanna go on holidays with my family. I wanna save more and travel to some country with 4bb and the chicken. I wanna take my relationship easy and let things go on slow and steady, and hopefully we can work everything that may arise in future calmly and frankly together and get rooted in each other's live comfortably.

I know i am a lucky girl. I observed it~ i always slip but never falls. I always take risks and seldom kena anything bad. Maybe it's cus I'm op that's why i think so, but who cares? i just FEEL that I'm lucky~ that's what that matters.

I am thankful that i am talented in music~ i am able to write nice songs~ I am able to sing them decently. I met this bunch of ppl with similar passion and help me present my music beautifully~ and it becomes our music. We get gigs and we perform~ feel the music from my voice~ their guitars~ his drum~ all come together and produce this chemistry and feel our music make it's way into ears of our audiences, and feel them feel our music, and hear the claps and cheers. Not everyone is lucky enuff to get the chance to experience this. Like i said, i am freaking lucky.

I am thankful that i am creative, that's like the best part of me. And my humour, how can i live the life i'm living without it?

I have great friends. I am still meeting great ppl and making nice frens.

I have a great family~ always there for me. they made home a entertaining and lively place. Not everyone is as lucky. Phew~ lucky lucky...~

Is there a god? shd i still pursue this question? I don't know... it's getting tiring... feels like i will never be able to find the answer. Shd i be passive and wait for the answer to come knocking at my doorstep? I can lead a happy life that way~ but i am not quite someone who leaves questions hanging. This bothers me at times. Today discussed with yux jasm chup and zhip over dessert. We all believe that there's ghosts, or spirits~ whatever you call them~ and i believe too~ there's a satan. If so~ there must be a god. YES. There must be. How can it be that he doesn't exisit if the other exist? I am not so comfortable with saying out the latter. I suddenly misses my granny~ haiz...~ why is the bible true? i wanna know. i hope there's something which can help me believe in it. then opens the passage for me to reach this god. Then i fear nothing. then~ i know i am watched over. I know quite clearly it wun be zhiren who will be the one who will eventually enlighten me, so i am not pinning hope there~ if this convinient way out is blocked~ then i gotta find other ways. I'm not doing this for him. I had been pursueing the ans to the question of god since jc. I was eventually tired out after the taxing search with no result and gave up. Now that i am recharged, perhaps i can start the search again. perhaps i wanna find god so eagerly becus i feel how blessed i am, or rather i know how blessed i am. and i wanna thank him if he exisit. i am dying to do so.

I shall pursue the answer. I shall find him. at least try to...