These few days had been damn bad for me~ damn tough~ going thru the stupid pms and body failing me and emotions going up and down and down and down~...

But i realise how loved i am... i really have a super loving family. not only mum~ daddy and bros~ the moment they saw me, they asked me if i am ok, with the super-concerned look~ and mummy insisted that i take a cab back from school~ cus i was carrying a super big and fully loaded backpack~ my guitar~ and laptop~ that's a lot of weight~ She kept calling~ so afraid that i fainted somewhere~ haha~ that is really heart-warming~ like a hourly reminder that you are cared for and had been hung in someone's mind so constantly~ you noe~ the way like your hp msg tone keeps ringing and you always know it is that guy who had came up with excuses to msg you~ haha~ gd old days~ i enjoyed it the most in sec sch~ whne ds kept msging me and all~ it was addictive~ and damn flattering~ and of course damn sweet~ i wonder how i had the power to wake up at 6am whne we always chat till like~ 4? 5? haha ~ that was nice~ real nice~ haiz~ kinda miss those days~ but this is diff~ this thing with mummy~ it was very touching~ more from the heart~ not becus of attraction~ not becus of lust~ but she called really out of concern~ and the tone she speaks you will know that you had been on her mind really constantly.awwwwWWW~ i love her soooooo much!~ tai gan dong le!~ sobx!~>...<

i am so lucky to be born in this family~ i can't complain~ but it is also becus of this super ideal family that i seem to expect a lot from people i meet later on in life~ be it my friends~ my bf~ it is like~ i expect them to care for me and really treat me totally sincerely. this brings in disappointment at times of course~ at times~ but I guess this is one thing i really need to learn~ to accept less and give more. cus i realise at home~ i always get far mroe than i give. it's a balance. I dun expect things to be fair between me and my frens or zr, cus it havent been so in my fam either~ but as long as we love each other and enjoy each other~ we shd just do watever we can to make things work~ dun grumble~ dun stamp my feet for justice~ yep~ At least so far i had been receiving more than enuff to make me feel happy and contented.

I always feel that i am exceptionaly blessed~
When i write stories like water~ when i make people roll all over the floor with my jokes~ when i inspire the kids in the camp~ when i listen to people, talk to them and loosen their frowns, when i untie people's difficult situations into simple pieces that they can solve themselves~ when i write songs and people tell me how the songs hit them~ and of course~ i know it when i am with my family and friends.

very ming xian~ i am not using it to the fullest~ i am not bringing enuff light to the world than i am capable of~ in fact~ a lot of people are not doing so. we are all too lazy. almost everyone i know deep enough have this impressive thing in them they do not unleash. we are all too lazy to make the world a better place. sadly.

Enuff of day dreaming~ off i go to the real world~ dear friends~ please take care~