SHORTED

Sni p snA P shor T


todaY raiNed toNneS of haiRRRRR


I hated the split ends, the excessive bunch of hair.

But i kept them anyway. Cus i maNageD to keep thEM rathER long thiS time rounD. Plus onE silly thing, Many peopLE said i am pretty ever since i had long hair. Guess it made me look more femine. Well, i am flattered and I am vain. I wan all these flattery to keep coming. GimmE giMMe~

Tao hua seems to be a little more hopeful since I had long hair. And i am greedy, I wan taohua to come come come. gimme giMME~

But everytime i feel the dried parts of my hair, the tip stretch, everytime i scout and find split ends, i will pluck them off. I am irritated. I don't like these unhealthy, weak things growing on me. It makes me unhappy. I miss my old hair. The super healthy, smooth, highly untamed batch of hair which i used to keep short, in my jc days. They will just go in random directions, today to the left, tml to the right. Everyday was a bad hair day. But they felt very me. Now with this long hair, the spilts and the dryness can hardly be detected unless i feel them or see them close up. It can hardly go wrong. but i dread the way i look. I dread the way i comb my hair with my fingers and i feel friction.

It is true, i started out keeping long hair for him. he liked it. he liked it when i fernch plaite it and i liked to french plait it because it will win me his compliements. that way i get assurance that i still have his interest. but in most simplistic terms, i liked to do so for it pleases the man i love. Everyone wants to please people they love. I'm not esp weak or useless, I'm just mortal.

Today i watched nana's anime on crunchyroll. I finished it up. I love the way they lived for their dreams, the way they make decisions. There's powerful female characters in the anime, which made me really miss the old me. I used to be powerful, carefree, crazy and totally whacky. I gave it up when I fell in love. And somehow i became so comfortable with the female role that i couldnt foresake the shallow compliments on looks, the possibility of guys' admiration and protection. I became so comfortable with taking up the role as a girl who needs all these silly stuffs. I felt ashame. So i took the scissors and i laid the newspaper in the kitchen basin, in front of the mirror and snip snap short! i cut a whole handful of hair at a time. it was big angry snaps. Took me only 3 snaps to see a short haired me. I comb my fingers thru my hair and i felt so revived! So me. So farmiliar.It's as if i went thru a long nightmare and i find myself just finished A levels. Felt the random strong curve at the back~ feels so good to feedle with it, trying to straighten it, but never minding it being unstraightenable.


I am happy. =)