Just finished watching nana movie.
oh man, tell me when will i ever grow sick of watching it.

I can really relate to something in this movie. perhaps as a vocalist of band.
Oh, about the previous post about singing, it was some stupid misunderstanding. Forgiven and forgotten. now move on.
I really like writing song, then recording it down , or calling the guys down to jam band room the very night or the day after. Then share it. Then we all get to our weapons, guitars drums mike, watever it is, and fire!
It's like estacy. if not, much more addictive and healthy. but i'm not so into rock, rather, more into music. but i do love rock.
Gambatteh!

What am i going to do with the new year money?
Of course I'll love to save it, but i wanna invest it on a good web cam with mike. James was really good, abt 50bucks. I want a good mouse for dota and design stuffs. I wanna buy zr a guitar bag for his classical guitar, 60bucks, ex sial. I wanted to get him a similar design one for his electric guitar since it had opened it's mouth. But i shall wait. wait for more money, or an event like vday,so i can give as present. let's see how.

man.... i love money...

man...... i wnat money.....

I love angbaozzzzZZZzzz...........muackx!~cometo mummy quick!~

reunion dinner was great. noisy and cosy and delicious and healthy and squeezy, just the way it should be.

I thank my parents for giving birth to three of us, it is so difficult to bring up 3 kids in this era in singapore by just selling veg, he must had scrimped like mad, the more so cus we din. We kids really spurlged.
But three kids makes this home really noisy and cosy, and warmer. just the way it should be.
so comfortable and complete.

I am going to have two kids in future , in the event that i get married and is quite well off and so happen to be pregnant. Cannot imagine being the single child, so lonely, it will be so hard to manage a kid. two is much better. And I'll have a big golden retreiver. I will live in a shop house sort. I will have my own studio for music and art and work, my kids will pick up music and sports or watever they get interested in. I work free lance, cum be housewife~ wow~ perfect lifestyle sial.
Invite frens over to bake~ and invite their fams over for bbq once in a while~ papa can haf his own little garden~ grow some veg or wat~ i can sooooo imagine mama going for linedance like everyday~ and ktv of course.
I want a bath tub!!!! i want a coffee maker, i want a bright white house. I want tall tables for breakfast and chill out corner.
For all these to be possible, my husband needs to make really big money~ or, alternatively, i must be damn successful in the film industry or wherever i end up in. GaMbAtTEH!!!

ok~ that's quite far~ let's focus nearer and more realistic~
This holi, i am going to prac spanish~ tml will be going to aunty's place then we will be going to sentosa!!! hoho~ we had been planning since nainai' funeral since we wun be able to celebrate cny this year. so i shall start on monday~ and tuesday~ just slack and mug spanish to catch up on the 5 lessons missed. amazing~ how did i do that?! but nvm~ i am going to S/U it anyway~
I had my hands on guitar since dunno wat time. I am addicted~ had been playing richard marx's right here waiting for you since dunno when. Really aadmire zr's guitar skill. Just name a song and he can play out the melody with the background bass straight away. amazing, and that is what i wanna attain. just wood and strings and boom~ magic~... wow~ i'm in love~ i liei this classical guitar a lot~ cost less that 100 bucks, bought when i was primary6, 12 years old, so it is near 8 years old~ wow~ time flies~

OK~ my chinese new year resolution~ haha~lidat also can rite? then i wil have april fool resolution~ mooncake festival resolution~ haha~but anyway, here i go~
erherm!~

I wanna have my work done in my room~ zr's room is not condusive for doing my work~. Then i go over to prac guitar~ everyday~ Run more!!!! ok, i will try to run everyday~ sometimes with zr sometimes with the oinkz~ hoho~ oinkz!!! I am getting my fridge on wednesday!!! hohoho!~ can put meat and all le~ can come over to cook and eat!~ hohoho!~ So excited!~ then i can shift my little oven back to my room~ hoho!~

I love hall life~ so no restriction~ i can play with my life whichever way i like~ shift the bed and tabel here and there, wash my clothes, mop the floor(ok, this seldom happens), just lots of freedom~ and lots of satisfaction. btw, I just mopped my home floor today!~ whole of it, every room!~ hohoho!~ my mama says, she needs to buy lottery cus of this, thankz man~ but i noe la~ i am a lazy bum at home. But nvm~ i will change!~ hoho!~ i love to wash clothes~ so she can leave it to me~ hoihoho~

life is so good~ i am so blessed and lucky~ i shdn't complain, and right now i can't!~

Happy new year people!~ MUACKX!~ hohoho!~ merry new yeAR!~

Bought hotman 2!~ hohoho!~
LOVE NANAMI!~

even a child can be that considerate~ can be that sweet and understanding. why can't we adults?


alrite~ the beef yest was DAMN salty~ like~ that cow lived and breathed in the sea for years.
my bad, too much salt rubbed. but it was still tender, the 2nd batch was ok~ nice~
saralee cheesecake is nice!!!!damn nice~
oh, the bottle of wine i bought was the most unglam thing that can ever happen on vday.
trie to open by knife but couldn't so the cork was quite chipped. so even after we got the wine opener, there wasn't enuff grip to pull the cork out, so we just used the knife to scrap the cork out. hmm~ nvm~ i like the wine, as in, quite ok la, not as nice as that one freddy bought~ but ok ~ i think i drank 90% og the wine. hoho~ i like sipping wine~ simply enjoyable~ and those silent moments of sipping wine really relAXs ur mind~
shuang~ but i still hope that i can find the sweeter type of dessert wine~
haiz~

supposed to go out today to cele vday~ but too bad~ zr fever~ so bobian~
nvm lah~
v day is just a day.


jac jac jac~ yoyoyo!~ hello!~ can you hear me?!
hoho~
yep~ jac's in aust now~ the land of angmohs, kangaroos.... and................
SHAUNA's BROTHER!!!!!

haha~ i'm sure you will find some good food there too~ next time if got money go visit you then can bring makan makan!~ hohoho!~

hao lah~ go liaos!~ buaiz~

I just wrote a song~ a weird song~ feels very floaty, cannot reach the ground~ feets suspending above the ground, sort of feel~ not the heavy type of tune $i ususally write. but the content is still quite my style, meaning, a bit negative~ wan to die wan to die lidat~ haha~ i dunno why it always turns out lidat~ haha~ here's the lyrics.





TOO LIGHT

I'm too light to be noticed in this world.

you won't notice if I float into the space one day.

Cause we live in this heavy heavy world.

So light that i can just fade away...~

Fade me away~ fade me away~
out into the space and...
fly me higher~to the stars right above
or somewhere even higher~

I know there must be someway out oh!~
But nothing seems to make it better.

I know I need to fight my way oh!~

But just the smell of the rain makes me weaker.

I know one day it'll all be over
But it just feels like I'm stuck here forever

I know I need to find a safe place oh~
then i will just stay there forever~

Fade me away~ fade me away~
out into the space and...
fly me higher~to the stars right above
or somewhere even higher~

will I be remembered?
(does it matter?)(spoken)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, catch us at youtube!~ gig in nus previously~ i edited the video~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFBQMon6fnI

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown


http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/ (watch the presentation if you got time)

Think it is a good poem~ helps us to reflect on what the hell we are doing.
What dumb things we are doing.
Actually, i still do believe the clearest way to see things in life is looking it in the simpliest way.

I felt a bit of guilt after watching the presentation.
On the part about what god want's his children to learn..
Realise I haven't been forgiving.

I had been too selfish. and too defensive.
I haven't been humble enough.
I had been too lazy, I haven't care enough for my parents and friends.
I had been trying too hard to be loved more, that it spoilt the initial beauty of being loved.

I suddenly remembers someone i respect the most. I was damn inspired by her in my sec4 to jc life. Mother Teresa.

In sec sch cme lessons, we read about her, her greatness. How loving she was. How giving she was. How saint she appeared.
I was so inspired thzt i sort of sweared that i wanna go india during my holi after my A'levels. Of course that did not happened. sighz. The real world is so complicated. You wanna go help out, you needa go through the red cross or other charity bodies. Then red cross will only send people who had been with them for a few years. but if you haf the will , you can~

Kor wanna go on this holi~ for 2weeks~ needa pay 800bucks~
Mama was against~
Then i heard her points and i reg it~
Now it is SUPER straining on them to support this family~
Imagine~ hong studying in poly and kor and me studying in ntu, living in hall~ the expenses is wowowowoah~.

I feel that i had been taking too much from them too. haiz~ din noe mama struggling~
She says kor shd not go~ he wanna take care of those ppl so ar away, he shd first help out the family. Save up some money in the holis then ease their burden when sch reopens. Duper true~ if he wants, he can help out in singapore also~ so many needy ppl around~ why must go to THAT extreme.

Duper true. i liek to listen to wat mama says, she is always so down to earth and things always make so much sense in the real world. She really knows the world. Wise.
impressive.

If i can get a tution job~ one week 2 hrs~ one month 4 weeks, one hr 20bucks~ then i can hav 160 bucks per month~ then i can pay my own hp bill and take less 100bucks from my parents!~ man!~ damn gd~anyone got plezase intro me. I hate giving tution, so stress, so scared i dunno enuff to teach of had long forgotten. pri shd jiu hao le.... haiz~ but for money~ i shd~ otherwise really xiong on them. hmm~

I love my laptop sooo much!~
Super worthy buy...~ heehee~
I shall save up in holi~ and return papa 1000 buckx for this laptop~
Thik i wun be able to do it lah~ 1000 bucks leh~
maybe 500bucks first lah~
see how~

No matter how badly squashed my heart may feels,and no matter how sucky situation is, i can always count on music to release me from all these. A guitar in hand and in minutes, i will be teleported into another world. And the pain or wrench or watever wil like fade away so gently that i din really notice it.

U only want three things.

I wanna do better in art, and i wanna do better in art, and i wanna do better in art. That's all i want.

yes, I wanna do better. I wanna exploit my potentials.

Art and music. That's the way i want my life to be composited.
I dun like social stuffs.
Being in a crowd of strangers sux. It makes you feel uncomfortable and lonely.
how ironic. Lonely in a crowd.....

It sux when your dearest ones neglect your feels so damn carelessly. But don't blame them.
But i hate the way he neglects my feelings. He does it too often.

Does some things really matter? it appears so at times, then it doesn't appear so some other times.

I like to be alone~ I like to wake up upon hearing the alarm from my handphone goes off. Then brush teeth and bath. Then choose a set of clothes, put on light make up~ pack my stuffs, look into the mirror and feel that i am good to go~ then set off with a nice pair of matching shoes, buy a bao and a milo from the canteen and wait for bus, or walk to adm building, meet my this wonderful group of classmates. Laugh my time away, feel the pride in my work as i present them, then learn new knowledge or discover more about myself. Then set off back to hall~.

I hate to attend spanish lesson~ so stressful. I am going to revise later~ so that i am super prepared for next lesson~ which is tml afternoon~ and hopefully i can enjoy~

I should'nt complain, I'm a lucky girl. =)

Chiong back from 1d design tut to sleep a little~ super sian~ can conc sleeping~ mind keeps wandering to when the alarm will ring, like so damn afraid that i may get a shock when it rings.haiz~ waste of time, shd had spent the time studying spanish instead.

Going to chiong to spanish lesson soon, 2 mins to 3 and lesson starts at 3.30 at south spine~ far sial~
LIFE HAD BEEN GOOD before i overslept this morning!~
Broke my clean record for this sem!~ qi si ren le!~


Anyway~ presentation was fine~ shiran seems to liek my previous 3d model~ let's see wat grade i get tml.

Some discussion about ghost and spirits and satan freaked me out quite some time ago when we were discussing at that hk cafe~ with spatts.
I believe, there is satan. esp after watching all those playback of songs, super satanic~
Felt damn freaked out!~ damn scary~ it is nearby~ may pounce on you anytime...
super disturbed. Then the thought of there is a god who will fight this evil force away and keep mankind safe came to my mind, and i felt a very miraculous feeling, super peaceful, super fearless, super serene, super safe..

I believe there is a god. I wanna find him~ i wanna know him. All else seem to bother me less. I wnat answers.

I'll take it slow and easy but i wun wait. kzkz~
hao la~
Gotta rush!~ buaiz~