It'll be all over by 3pm~

=)

someone from united states commented our glam sky video on youtube~
"awesome till the end, keep working on it!"

Man....~ so happy!~
yep~ keep working on it~ of course~

sooooooOOO look forward to end of exams and all submission DEADlines. then can jam again!!!~
hohoho~

wonder how my new songs will turn out when we all work together. exciting!~

I am very encouraged.
Rem i wrote songs for my 4d projects?
The second song brought my fren to tears...
it was about a rebellious gal who got herself pregnant and hger bf dumped her then she wsent back to live with her mom, after some time~ her mom died. It was too adrupt. she couldn't register it. bu there are small things in life, habits esp, which becomes incomplete withourt her, and sort of reminds her of her mom's absense.

MUMMY ,
COME BACK HOME
I've got the laundry done, put them into the washing machine, but you din't take them out
it wasn't taken out.

I've got the day marked off the calender, flipped the pages to see my birthday marked, you've got my birthday marked. you've got my birthday marked.

I woke up on the sofa as usual, but the tv wasn't off. it wasn't off.
you din't turn it off...

CHORUS
you used to tell me that he doesn't want me for real~
then you'll say oh my baby baby won't you come back home?~
mummy they told me that you'll be gone for long
but you didn't tell me
so my mummy mummy won't you come back home?!~

I called up home to say I'll be late for dinner.
but the phone rang on, no one picked up the phone....
you din't pick up the phone....


I hope that in future, my pieces, be it films, songs, will still be able to touch people, move people, and entertain people. Then hopefully through these frames which i wish to highlight to people, they could see shadows of themselves, relate to it, learn from it. but first of all, i need to learn to open myself up and fully experience life, to be able to know life better and make up a better film.

But for now............





JUST FINISH MY GOD DAMN 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M JUST SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


sobx.... no ideas~ tml is the submission date~ omg......~

back to my coffin~ tata~

Don't sleep now~

" stay with me! stay with me! no dear don't sleep now..!"

it just keep ringing. He shook his head real hard~ ah.. fatigue~
The computer lab is plain white with concrete floor. This place feels so empty. This battlefield of his. His stomach growled furiously. he looked down and pressed his stomach real hard, a silent hush.

ouside Adm open lab, there were exciting arrivals of three vending machines, one selling piping hot sandwiches, the other titbits and chocolate, and the last one drinks. It was rocking good news to adm students. Late night~ or rather early morning 3am, it is always consoling and heart warming to have the companion of a hot sandwich with a drink while you struggle with your art work. But to him, these three machinese are wicked reminders of his bad diabetes, and they just sat right outside the door, eviling smiling at him with bright light and red flashing word " coca-cola". He is so hungry, and there are piping hot food right outside the door, but he cannot eat any. This negative feeling had been haunting him for 3hours, since his first stomach growl. Somehow such feelings seem to stay and tingle much longer here in Singapore. he remembers things weren't that bad back in Malaysia, where forbidden food was all banned from home, ever since he picked his life back with much luck. He knows he is lucky to have survived and he often tell himself, you should not grumble. But it is really hard for a 19years old teenager to go this exciting part of his life with so many additional "do not"s slapped on the rules of life. It totally sucks.

his classmates and friends all told him, kelvin~ you are sooooo talented! your works are awesome! gosh, you are real talented! I envy you sooo badly~If only i can be like you.

He would smile and say thankz. He was never a guy of too much words. They don't know enough of him to decide if they wanna be like him. But that din't bother him. who truly walks around talking things they truly mean? If they are to do so, how many sentence can they say per day. That will be too quiet a world. He doesn't like the world quiet.

Ah...~ he shut his eyes again. Or did they shut down on their own? He struggled to keep them open. A familar struggle.

Mom and dad was out in the studio and he was still in bed. it was 1pm. He felt drained. Real fatigue. He couldn't recall much, other than his mom's adrupt silence, then adrupt scream. Then the ambulance siren. The touch of the hard clutch. The voice of a few men. The cries of his mom. The breaths of his dad. His mom's voice " stay with me! stay with me... no dear don't sleep now!"
then back to his dad's breath, mom's cries, and the ambulance siren...

what more can I ask for? thankz jac~ you had been showing a lot of support~ really thankz~
removed that post when i saw your comment~ on my previous some depression post~ haha~
thankz a lot~ it was like a pleasant pop up in this hectic life now~ guess that's wat frens are for~=)

thankz~ feels so good to feel so good to feel supported~ =)

I deserve a short break~ 4d is finally over~ but needa chiong for portfolios again~
haven't been sleeping right these days. slept like 1hrplus yest? i am shortening my lifespan man~

but it's worth it.

gambatteh!~
i like strawberry hello panda!~ i love strawberry milk!~ i love strawberry icecream!~
but i dun really like strawberry...~
da jia jia you!~

It was 5am and I couldn't sleep. Yes, mom and jac must be thinking? oh man!~ maria the pig couldn't sleep?! that's real serious. haha, but yea~ impossibles happens.

Actually I had been having hard nights quite often ever since months ago i guess?
i am afraid I might had lost this simplicity in my body and mental system, i feel quite complicated. I don't like this.

But anyway~ i was in zr's room~ rolling and rolling~I fell asleep at 2 plus 3 i guess~ when we decided to take a 5mins nap before going to pantry to cook mee and harshbrowns for supper. Super unhealthy food at super unhealthy timing, i can picture me and him in a batman style sportscar speeding, munching on harshbrowns and slurping mee, then we pass by a sign, ***9821 days to death, maximum speed 1harshbrown per day and we were obviously overspeeding. anyway~ yes~ we fell asleep instead~ a great safe by our sleep bugs. woke up at 5 and couldn't fall asleep again, rolled and changed at least hmmm~ 10 positions, and i think i woke him up~ finally decided to get up~ take up the guitar, camera and my new MUJI organiser(a happy recent buy!) and my super long pencil case filler with pans and markers and pencils, and his super duper water bottle~ and i headed up to the balcony. There's something with this balcony i like a lot~ the scenary? the .... location? like a forgotten corner~ nice to get lost in for minutes. or hours.

Wrote a song~ simple but i really liked the feeling of writing songs out of room~ out of bed~ out of comfort zone~ exciting experience~ it's titled " thinking way too much". It's going into my 4d project. altering of planz~ dunno hwo to upload personal sound track so i can only present the lyrics. teach me how if you know please~ anyway~ here it is~

THINKING WAY TOO MUCH

why does the moon looks so violently oh sliced apart tonight?
why is the star so stunningly oh lilted up despite
the other part of the sky is,...
pitch dark~

* Doesn't it matter?
or am I thinking way too much?
shouldn't it matter?
or am I thinking way too much?
x2

why is the sky turning blue and the clouds getting pink again,
so beautiful again?
oh is the sun coming up? oh no please push it down for me.
remember the last evening you set the sky so beautiful~
you set me wanting more oh and
before I know it~
it's pitch dark~

*Doesn't it matters?
or am I thinking way too much?
shouldn't it matter?
or am i thinking way too much?
x2

Why are the birds laughing?
they think I'm thinking way too much.
shouldn't it matter?
or am i thinking way too much?



Is it that the setting is just so nicely set for me to pour out so conveniently or is it that the evertything in nature has something so in common that we can relate to each other so while when we spend some time to dig deeper? maybe it's a bit of both. or maybe, it's just that i was thinking way too much~ haha~

2more songs coming up~ HAUNTED, and one other~

Songs are still the best~ better than blogging~ better than talking~ it's a lot like time with yourself. in a special dimension~where you pour everything so intangible out into tunes, words, feelings~ magical feeling~

Desperately needs a haircut. so thick sial!~ nel:" yar la~ mine also sial~ you see~ so long cannot dun style sial~ otherwise go void deck chill and relac one korner mina walk past malu sial~" hahaha~ can just SO imagine~

mom~ hao la hao la~ teach you lah~ start after exams? too stress wait you lian float also cannot float~ haha~ DA JIA JIAYOU!!!!!!

These few days had been damn bad for me~ damn tough~ going thru the stupid pms and body failing me and emotions going up and down and down and down~...

But i realise how loved i am... i really have a super loving family. not only mum~ daddy and bros~ the moment they saw me, they asked me if i am ok, with the super-concerned look~ and mummy insisted that i take a cab back from school~ cus i was carrying a super big and fully loaded backpack~ my guitar~ and laptop~ that's a lot of weight~ She kept calling~ so afraid that i fainted somewhere~ haha~ that is really heart-warming~ like a hourly reminder that you are cared for and had been hung in someone's mind so constantly~ you noe~ the way like your hp msg tone keeps ringing and you always know it is that guy who had came up with excuses to msg you~ haha~ gd old days~ i enjoyed it the most in sec sch~ whne ds kept msging me and all~ it was addictive~ and damn flattering~ and of course damn sweet~ i wonder how i had the power to wake up at 6am whne we always chat till like~ 4? 5? haha ~ that was nice~ real nice~ haiz~ kinda miss those days~ but this is diff~ this thing with mummy~ it was very touching~ more from the heart~ not becus of attraction~ not becus of lust~ but she called really out of concern~ and the tone she speaks you will know that you had been on her mind really constantly.awwwwWWW~ i love her soooooo much!~ tai gan dong le!~ sobx!~>...<

i am so lucky to be born in this family~ i can't complain~ but it is also becus of this super ideal family that i seem to expect a lot from people i meet later on in life~ be it my friends~ my bf~ it is like~ i expect them to care for me and really treat me totally sincerely. this brings in disappointment at times of course~ at times~ but I guess this is one thing i really need to learn~ to accept less and give more. cus i realise at home~ i always get far mroe than i give. it's a balance. I dun expect things to be fair between me and my frens or zr, cus it havent been so in my fam either~ but as long as we love each other and enjoy each other~ we shd just do watever we can to make things work~ dun grumble~ dun stamp my feet for justice~ yep~ At least so far i had been receiving more than enuff to make me feel happy and contented.

I always feel that i am exceptionaly blessed~
When i write stories like water~ when i make people roll all over the floor with my jokes~ when i inspire the kids in the camp~ when i listen to people, talk to them and loosen their frowns, when i untie people's difficult situations into simple pieces that they can solve themselves~ when i write songs and people tell me how the songs hit them~ and of course~ i know it when i am with my family and friends.

very ming xian~ i am not using it to the fullest~ i am not bringing enuff light to the world than i am capable of~ in fact~ a lot of people are not doing so. we are all too lazy. almost everyone i know deep enough have this impressive thing in them they do not unleash. we are all too lazy to make the world a better place. sadly.

Enuff of day dreaming~ off i go to the real world~ dear friends~ please take care~

Is it the stress? is it pms? is it a combi? is it my expectations? is it depression?

Feeling like shit every now and then~ and it is so frequent that it is so difficult to feel happy for long.

this is so....~ disguisting~


I feel so disguisted.

God, if you are truly up there~ please help me, cus i already ran out of ways to help myself.how did this happen? this there something wrong with me? it is as if i am under some curse~ it is as if i am possessed.

At nights i can't sleep~ it is really bad~ i wander in my living room~ walk all around my home~ so blank~ i feel so hollow and unreal no matter where i am~ i am not consious. I don't feel awake yet i can't sleep~ i feel haunted~ sometimes the all time favourite statement haunts me down again~ in a blink~ i am going to be on my death bed~ time passes sooooo fast. and things got really disguisting~ isn't anyone going to try to save me? god? are you sending some guys out there to help me? to remove this curse? if you are, please hurry~ i don't think i can wait.

daytime and all~ when i am busy~ i am perfectly fine~


this is sickening~ but i haf faith~ that it will go over~ if you are there~ please watch over me~

I don't feel good~ because i had been missing a lot of lessons nowadays.
My bad, i din take gd care of my body~ fell sick so often~ problem more than badminton~ very very sian~ then when you lose momentuem, that's it~ oversleep~ the greatest sin~


think i wouldn't stay in hall next sem~ think it is a wise choice~ I've thought through it. The best alarm clock is mummy~ in fact, she is my only alarm clock!~ I need her~ haiz~ so sad~

I really love staying in hall~ but i know this can't go on~

sianz~!!!!

How affecting is music?
How will people react when music clashes with their mood~ how will it affect their mental state? How will they react?

How will people react when they hear the "deng-deng-dengdeng~" wedding tune as they walk pass the underground tunnel~ or hears techno when dining in posh resturant, or cantonese opera soundtrack when clubbing? or hear the sound of sound of natural~ cheepanzees shrieking and sound of crickets or even howls of werewolf~ in hdb flats~ on your walk home fm the bustop~ what will be your reaction? will you fasten ur pace? will you try and look around? will you act like you hear nothing?

man....~ this is going to be interesting!~ hohoho!~ but also time consuming~ i gotta start earlier~ hohoho~

THis guy is real good and the mtv was very well made~. ENJOY~


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d9tsC9UU20

There are four steps to this work

1. Define what ART is (according to you)
2. Empowerment : the idea you have much first serve your own interest and respect/ response to the definition of art.
3. List questions / curiosity on two levels – one is the theme, one is the presentation method
4. Fine the Mystic connection between the inner/outer world, interconnection or interpedently between body and mind, between you and the universe. (Remember that is why and how gravity being discover because of the dropping of the apple one sees and be curious about it)
   

INTERACTION is what this presentation is all about. Your art provide a platform for people to interact among them, or between your artwork and viewers, or artwork with its environment, the whole atmosphere between your creation and the viewers.

The purpose of this homework could be viewed on many levels, one is to discover who you are, discover purpose of your existence, through the manifestation of the art you present. Not just THINKING but Actual proof. The outcome should remain a surprise and beneficial to you.






This is my 4d final project~ still as abstract~
all ihope is for her to be able to respect whichever style or perspect we have~


Vietnam trip sounds really interesting~ 4wweeks at vietnam~ hmmm~ thinking and thinking....

I got soooooooooooooooooooooo much to do~
but i need to sleep now~ must wake up tml to do some work b4 going to the cemetery~ then back hall and..........do more work~

Being purposeful is good. but i just feel like playing guitar and singing all day long~ haiz~
4d lesson used to be soooo fun~ so do-it-your-style.... miss it~ now it's about doing it the way she wants you to do it~ haiz~ so sian~ how i hope i still had shannon as my tutor~ i really feel tormented under this tutor~ haiz~ suan le~ at least i think the final project for 4d will be interesting?

go sleep le~ going to 5am le~ nitex~