I WISH I WISH....

I WANT

I WANT A HANDPHONE WITH GOOD CAMERA AND VIDEO CAM
A DIGITAL CAMERA.

I wanna go on holiday~ go abroad~


I MISS THOSE DAYS WITH A HEART SO SO SO KEEN ON HAVING FUN...


I wanna be happy and purposeful everyday~

Lee Lao Shi

Lee Lao Shi.... (http://ahscds.blogspot.com/)

I really respect her.
Now I really pity her.
I'm gonna send her flowers.

My WHOLE HEAD had been spinning in office scenes~ phones calls, data entry, letters and letters, courier local and abroad~ Calling and calling~

Nowadays after I reach home~ i will take out my e-guitar and quickly prac the solo I am supposed to play for iris and prac guitar for the song "here you me" by lifehouse. Fast fast before the sleep bugs conquer my consiousness.

A tear drop on the face of eternity~ how beautiful~ TAG MAHALL. My bro just came back from India~ I really envy him. i shall go next year. It really sounds damn fun.

Beauties trip how? Genting? I am so tired. Really needa sleep... yawns... nitex~ everyone please take care~ esp jac~ at the farfaraway land~....

Just now suddenly got a flash of scene pass thru my mind.
Nainai in the bed~ in pain, no, in agony.
Watty the maid, and my aunt is beside her. helpless.
She asks my aunt for medicine to relieve her pain.
My aunt asked the doctor.
She tells nainai, there is none.
Nainai ask again, give me medicine, I'm in pain.
My aunt went out and got her panadol pills.
Somehow, she got a little better and managed to fall asleep.
She woke up hours later and finished up the bowl of porridge mother cooked, half the bowl, appettite was quite good.
Then she sleeps again.
Brother was on the phone when the maid screamed.
She was breathless.


I keep getting that scene of her asking for medicine replayed on my mind as I shower.
I cried bitterly~ I don't remember crying out so bitterly since her death. But I wasn't morning over her death, I felt her pain at that moment. I don't like it at all. If I can choose to cut out any scenes in anyone's life, I'll cut that out. Don't tell me I haven't seen the worst. I don't care. This is my grandmother and I love her.

Then I Prayed hard to God.
I told him, if he exist and the whole story of bible is true, then the whole " whoever believes in me and jesus comes to heaven and the others go to hell" thing is real, Then please... please please free her~ don't get her to hell. She was such a great grandma. She treats everyone so nicely. This whole rule you set is unfair. It's not like everyone knows that you are god and she chose to not believe in you. This is unfair. It sucks.

Watched so many vids on crunchy roll today~ anime lah~ movie la~ hohoho!~

so glad prof replied me~ so i think its all going to be ok~
HATE A PROF!~ She failed my 4d despite me handing in all my work~ so i had to go thru all these shit~ this acad chairperson i went to see for the appeal to get to film~ he said i should had gone to see him regarding this issue earlier~ yep
I am SO not going to go against her for the rest of my film years~ learn to pick just one or two things to be firm with~ the rest~ let it be~ easier life~

Still angry~

suan le~ tml is another tution day~ 200bucks to be pocketed~ and i hope he pays me the 90bucks for that extra lesson tml` if not ma fan sial~

tml i wanna buy ham~ and sausages and tomatos to stock up for sandwiches to bring to office~ dun get it wrong~ i still going out for lunch~ just that sandwiches are snacks~ hohoho!~ people's lunch i take as snack~ haiz~ really need some excercise~! maybe monday after work can go bedok swimming? i bought a swimming suit at just 9.90!!!! not very nice ~ but very ok~ who cares about outlook when swimming~ and bought two clips ~ giant ones~ super duper good for a stylish clip up of all my hair~ hohoh!~ two for $1 lah!~ super crazy sales~ yea!~ can use to office~ ah!~ i love my job!!! cus i love money!!!


Gonna meet up with zr's pastor one day~ I got so many questions to ask~ so far asked thru mail` think i asked quite difficult questions~ easier to ans when face to face bah~ she is a proffessor~ have phD degreee i chinese i think~ and was a scholar~ and came from god-less background~ so i think she is nto dumb and she must had gone thru this stage and found some convincing answers~ no harm listening~ it always amazes me~ how all these scholars convert to become christians after they research and try to overturn bible~